i have to spilled it out all here now. seriously im feeeling so yucky inside, all these while ive been thinking how stupid i am these past whole months.. really stupid! i sacrifice many things for u, my future and everything just for u. all u could say is my moodswing and stubborness, yessss i am stubborn! but WHO IS THE ONE WHO MAKE ME INTO THIS SITUATION??. u tell me who, i’ve beeen suffering for almost some years now, confirm u will say u suffered also. but hah, i suffer more then u ever expected. i sacrifice my FUTURE just for u. that u dont think? u always saying im stubbborn, moodswing and everything. im not like that in the past. and i realise its not because i lost someone. its because im with someone that always make me wait and wait and wait. im really an idiot now, alot off ppl scolded me cause i sacrifice my future just for a soul fren.. even mom, i just couldnt help it cause u were my soul fren. frens sacrifice each other. hah, but u didnt. once more u say about my moodswing and stubborness again. i know u have lotsa problems in family. but only u isst? everybody has problems. me too, always see i have money but actually i dont have that much either. mom is working hard to support me and i do this to her by sacrificing my sch. how would she feeel? and it was lucky she understood that i do this for u. its very lucky she understands the meaning of soul fren.. very lucky, now, u think for once, i beg u to think out of the box for ONCE!! pls, think have u ever sacrifice a big thing for me? have you??? dont say sacrifice of always going with me all that. and alwaays kana kutuk from family. thats normal, what im talking here, have u sacrifice for ur future just for me?? i know u had kutuk(s) from family, yes i tooo kana it. just cause angry of someone esle but goes to me? like cmon laa, what am i? a puppet come out from heaven or something. im not part of this family but still get bad remarks. and even lied about going out with me, wow! thats very coool. i know u would say “if i tell u go out with me,” the person wont allow. haha, yes i know that. but dont ever lie when ure going out with me, if the person dont let then that is fine. but i never knew what bad or evil things i did to the person until im labelled as wild n gemok? haaaah, what i do to deserve this? what i’ve done wrong to this person? everybody whom i fren with even their parents or whoever knows me doesnt think of me that way. ohhh now i know!! cause i always like to go out and come home late night. ahhhh, i understand, REALLLLY understand. so now if the person doesnt like me, so be it. go and find a better fren indeeed. a better one who is comfortable with u, can share anything with u. know ur feeelings and so on. but i bet theres no one will. cause u’re always comfortable with me. but if there is. gooood for u then, i dont mind at all. cause im giving up on these. i dont mean to ruin the frenship thing, but i just cant stand it. i wil get ready for next year. meeting new frens kinda stuff, will make me feel occupied. and i know this besfrens, nana and iyah. eventhough they dont meet that often but deeep down there are soul frens who will sacrifice somethings for their frenship.. they understand the meaning of soul fren. they really do, every besties will understand this. but u dont, think properly. im not saying im correct. but seriously ive experience alot when im with nana. she makes me understand whats the meaning of soul fren,besties. thanks naana:))

mujshe dosti karoge?(will u be my fren?) *sobs